Chris J and I left Columbus on Thursday and headed to Swiss. Friday morning we met up with Tom Montgomery, a guy from Charleston who was pretty cool and ran shuttle with us. It was an uneventful day on the river overall. The river was empty, and we had diagonal ledges to ourselves for a bit! I missed a boof at upper mash, got turned around in a hole and edged my way out and then flipped over while trying to push myself away from a rock with one hand. I grabbed my paddle and rolled up in front of a few rafts who were all staring at me. Thankfully I didn't swim. Friday night Nick, Chris Neglia, Ron (New Ohio boater from Lexington), Bree, Jason and Big Chris met up with us at Swiss.

 While burning enough wood to power a small town, Nick busted out the bubble shotglass and who knows how many we all had.. a lot.. Between drinks, Nick provided us with his mandalin renditions of classic hits like 'Poop in a Jar', 'Ring of Fire' and 'House of the Rising Sun'. On Saturday Jason took off to run the Upper G with his bro Eric, and the rest of us headed off to do the Lower. Ron was very nervous about getting on the river, I assured him we would take easy lines and we'd make the best of it.

The night before, I told everyone the line we were going to take at Koontz, the sneak line and if they didn't want to hit 5 boat hole they needed to go left or right of it. I should have repeated the message on Saturday I suppose, because as we head down through it, Ron in his Overflow catches the river left edge of the hole, and it turns him around back into the hole. He side surfs for a while, then starts getting window shaded, makes a roll, gets window shaded some more, and ends up stuck upside down in the trough getting pounded. Just as his boat was starting to come out of the hole he bailed and swam down to the calmer section. Neglia and others collected the yard sale items. After that he didn't look so well, he became white as a ghost and mentioned walking off to one of the group. As we headed down through Canyon Doors, everyone left the top eddie besides him and we weren't sure he was going to come. Eventually he came down, mentioned he didn't feel well and then we went through Junkyard. When we got to the class 2 boogie water below Junkyard, Ron all of a sudden started heaving onto his sprayskirt. It was like an upside-down atomic blast with chunks spraying off in a circular motions as they hit his skirt. I think between the nervousness and 5 boat hole chundering he had reached his limit! After recouping from that, his color came back and he snapped into the zone and finished off the rest of the river without a hitch.

We played, we surfed, it was a beautiful day! Back at the campsite we continued from the night before and had a great time. A guy and his girlfriend from Colorado came over to our site and chatted for a bit. The girl was hot, although he knew way too much for us and eventually headed off after he realized we were never going to be as cool as him. Stupid Ohio boaters. Pshaw! Sunday comes, we head back up to the put-in and while I'm messing with my helmet cam the rest of the group heads on down to 5 boat hole to wait for me and Chris J. When we finally get down there, we heard a story so unbelievable, we denied that the story could be true! No way could such a thing ever happen we say. But alas, it was true.. and as the story goes.. As the group headed down to 5 boat, Nick hit 5 boat hole and got window shaded himself. He taste-tested a little more water than he cared for, washed out of the hole upside down, and attempted a roll.. then another.. then another.. then *GASP* the sound of rumbling, the sky let loose with lightning and BAM there was Nick in an out-of-boat experience. Incredible? Believe it. We consoled him and headed on down the river. We surfed, we played at diagonal ledges some more. When we got to Upper Staircase, I led the group down and after I got to the bottom a raft guide was blowing his whistle at me with urgency and indicated one of my group members was swimming and needed assistance. I was too far down river and on the wrong side to be able to do much about it, but I saw some other boaters come to the rescue of the swimmer. They were far away, and from what I could tell they didn't look like the boaters in our group (there were a bazillion boaters on the river that day). After waiting and watching them float closer downstream, I could see the swimmer. Oh well I thought, I don't know anyone in our group who had a brown helmet. Then all of a sudden it snapped. NICK had a brown helmet, wait, is that his blue T3 floating 50 feet away and paddle another 50 feet away? It is! Apparently he took the far right line at the top of Upper Staircase, hit the V-slot (Now called Nicks Hole) and got violently chundered in his boat while getting smashed up against the rocks. After taking the beating, he popped his skirt, got chundered some more and eventually washed out. 2 swims in one day (Not that ANY of us were amused by this, we were just concerned that he was still in good health and was able to paddle the rest of the river.. ok maybe some people laughed, ok all, but the river gods are now eyeing them up). Luckily, aside from a very battered ego he only had a few bumps and bruises. After recouping we finished the rest of the river.

Aside from some dork back-stroking his shredder at the top of purgatory hole (NOT the place to be holding up traffic.. DUMBA$$) it was uneventful. We all enjoyed the show and the weather. While getting shuttle vehicles, Big Chris ended up with a flat, so we didn't end up until getting out of there until around 7pm but we all made it home safely. Somewhere between Charleston and Columbus my cockpit cover came undone, releasing my shorty, never to be seen again. BOO. First item ever lost during transit in 3 years, guess I was due. An incredible 3 days on the Lower!! Can't wait until this weekend. And remember kids, stay away from Nicks Hole, unless you want a good a$$ pounding in return.